Two of my internet pals, women whom I've met through sharing an experience of bowel cancer, have been in touch to tell me that they are ill again. It's chilling news, and underlines the fear that stops me feeling complacent about my current good fortune.
I seem to be in a constant sort of double-think. e.g. I was just prepping some stuff for my students, and thinking about how I am going to set our a tight schedule and keep them on target etc .. and yet underneath that optimistic planning is the thought: "If that scan in OK ..."
And we fancy a sunny break at Christmas, but we can't book that yet. It will the top of my things to do list as soon as I get an all-clear in October! Or should I wait for my colonscopy in November?
15 comments:
double think must be common - and probably a healthier process than denial or ignorance. I'm guessing that it will never stop, either for you or those that love you. Maybe it's the volume control that gets tweaked by things like dates, investigations, news about friends and certain smells or sights.
Love you ,Julie
Playing the waiting game is more tolerable with some sort of pleasure beckoning on the horizon,allowing you to be in control,...go for it, book it!
xxxxx
Jan
It's ok booking things you know you'll be able to do, sowe've got plans for half term, but committing hundreds of quid to a holiday I might then lose isn't my style!
I'll book it when I know it's ok ..
Is is possible to book it with a Visa card and insurance back up so you can reclaim your money just in case? I do heart your sister and I really like her comment but it's still good to think positive, ain't it?!
J x
hi suze, you've had a great summer, you're back revelling in your work... yay you... and you've got your scan organized... i think that's a good idea, if it's on your mind, move the scan up. with cancers there are so many decisions a person has no span of control over, just has to step up to the plate and stare down the looming fastball. when you CAN make a decision again about your ongoing health, like to have a scan early, then doing it is a positive thing. and next month you can book your christmas hols! and keep revelling in work and life and brigid!
xo erín revelling, in montreal
yay espresso yay morning
Hi Sue - just back from the van and catching up on news before Thursday, 8.30 am at Burton. LOL Aunty B.
Hiya - I cant claim any sort of insurance for a pre-exisintg risk .. even VISA would balk at that, I'm sure! interesting question, though!
hiya barb .. hope it all goes well for you tomorrow
Yes, erin, I think you pretty well sum it up,thanks
xxxxx
Hi Sue, just had tea miss Js just brought up 5 baskets of ironing,for me to iron.
Yes its good you have the scan aranged and we are all hoping its going to be goood news.We are all tryingto be positive but lets face it we are not able too say whats going on in your body, we must just wait and see. I wouldnt recomend booking a holiday just yet because your health results are important, and to be honest I dont think in this economic cline all holidays are going to be booked up. Who knows yuo may end up with a super duper bargain if you hang on. bye for now L M xxxx
hiya - you might be right there, muth, so long as there are still a few travel companies left to buy from! I'll definitley be getting a package deal, for the ATOL protection!
Mum has had a fall and is in A&E, telling everybody it was ironig fatigue. She is ok but a bit unsettled and unbalanced, Julie
Oh dear. Hope your mum's okay. And you, of course, but that sentiment ticks along just fine as an unsaid these days.
And I love Julie's first post. Exactly what I was trying to say on the phone earlier, if a little less eloquent on my part.
Just cant believe what happened to me this morning, it was a beautiful sunny day.
We decidedto go to Weymouth on the bus,trouble is we saw the bus way up the road and ran for it, trouble is I did something to my knee so ended up in AE I was there all day from 11-15 to 6-15 what a waste of a loveley day,they wanted me to stay in but I wasnt having any of that.Im OK have a zzzzzzz frame and crutches to help me get about.Bye for now L M xxxx
hey up little mummy - everyone's trying to phone you today and wondering if you're back in hospital or just buzzed off to weymouth again!
flu jab!
Hi Sue Dads geting his eye op on Oct 13 early in the morning, good news isnt it.
Been a nice summer day again seems its all change tomorrow.
My knee is still sore but much better I went to Morrisons with Winie and Dad and zzzzzzzzzzz had enough of resting.
Bye for now L M xxxxxxx
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