Saturday, May 26, 2007

Half term


I can't tell you how great if feels to be at 1/2 term and be able to spend it with my happy little mower and my sister et al rather than in hospital (as per the original schedule). There is a massive sense of liberation about it.

Last night I went out to get some rosemary for the roast-veg and the sun was shining and I didn't hurt anywhere, didn't feel sick, didn't feel tired

.... and suddenly I did feel an overwhelming sense of happiness ..

you see that's all you need, a bit of nature, good domestic things and ppl you love .. it's more than enough and it made me smile.

I must just report that my colleagues at work can be relied on to be as cheeky as anyone else I know .. It's Matt's considered opinion that my deck-shoe post shows that I have "lost it" .. as in " I thought to myself, oh no she's lost it, she's totally lost it .. "


@ Cathy
sorry I've not sent you an email - tho you obviously keep in touch with me, and I DID appreciate your tip-off re Consall Hall gardens - had a nice couple of hours there this week! Hope you get a restful 1/2 term, well that goes for all teaching collegaues who've pegged it out to here, well done!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Tra la la

Day to Day
I've certainly been less ill this week than the last post-chemo week .. which has been a treat.

I bumped into our lovely GP in town this week and she said "You just look so well, no-one would guess too look at you, the scale of what you're going through."

So there we have it .. the doc agrees I'm doing great.

I went out with Cousin Pauline to Consall Hall (as recommended by Cathy) it was lovely and I think P and I will do more little trips out after 1/2 term. I got a bit tired though .. so I do have to be careful.

Brigid's birthday
I couldn't believe it I heard she'd been telling family members she planned to spend their money on a lawn mower .. anyrate .. she was serious. I researched it on Which? for her and here it is, their "best buy" for small gardens. She is chuffed to bits with it and got both lawns done in an absolute blink.
The big improvement on this over the old one ~ ~ ~ this one CUTS where the other one mainly just flattened!

Monday, May 21, 2007

the great shoe-off

Some of you don't know what a deck shoe is, stand back and prepare to be amazed .. and three colours, sort of pink on the top and two shades of blue in the rest:

Now we're all left wondering how much sillier this blog can get ?

To say nothing of the oddness of my choice of footwear.

Especially when there are shoes as groovy as these (below) to be had out there, which SAM has bought and sent me, frankly, a shamefully bragging picture of the delightful item:

And I miss Celia F at times like this, she used to wear such gorgeous shoes to work ..

I might give up shopping

Saturday, May 19, 2007

a bit more

Yesterday's post was especially feeble -- and may have given the impression I was whacked .. whereas I was a BIT whacked, but also, in fact, quite engaged in building a new internet site..

This won't be of interest to most of you, but if you are a bit of a gay girl you can join it! You'll have to ask me for the address, cos the other members of the board don't want it broadcast too far and wide to strangers on tinternet. You can get the address by emailing me:

I got brought home by Azrini yesterday, cos Liz got poorly in the night and had to go home b4 she could complete her tour of duty!

On the way I bought a new pair of tri-coloured deckshoes from Moshulu... is cancer doing something odd to my dress-sense? (I know some of you think that's a puzzler anyway.. ) but really I keep buying pastel shades .. tho I cant see me giving up black altogether ..

B's sister is coming today, which is variation for us .. and I feel better now than I did this time last week .. presunably the infections added an extra layer of weariness then and my blood counts are good this week fact they are so much better than the week b4 I sort of wonder if they are really MY counts!

Friday, May 18, 2007

home 6

Sixth chemo done, that's 1/2 way through and luckily I feel better this week than I did last week, though obviously still sick and tired ..

Bit too tired to write much just now, but thinking of you all and thanks for recent phone messages and stuff

Sunday, May 13, 2007

weekend away

Alison House turned out to be fine for our purposes. Our room was big with two huge georgian windows looking out over the tree covered hillsides; very quiet and very easy place to be in.

We spent an hour or two on Saturday over at Hardwick Hall, I found the tapestries there very interesting..

I am, however, certainly feeling the cumulative effect of the chemo, couldn't stay out too long on Sat and had to return early today. Feel really washed out and floppy nearly all the time now.

Argh - I've claimed for a benefit now my statutory sick pay has run out and they've paid me for a bit and now they've sent me a huge other form to fill in ... with no real explanation of why ... I'm too weary to even read it all, really .... *sigh*

Internet Nits
Some of you have been in touch re being"banned" from a messageboard!!!
You have to laugh, cos yes, I have found enormous wells of good-will and kindness on the internet, but sadly there are still a few petty, small minded grudge-merchants out there who have been busy this week.

They are probably just ppl who found my sense of humour, or maybe just my intelligence, too much for them in on a board that I used for years in the the past. When I turned up in a "new" board (which, ironically, has the rule "the only rule is, there are no rules" and was set up by someone in repsonse to random acts of "moderation" ) these ppl's stories get me banned..

This was done on the basis of mysterious allegations which are not made public to other board users . So it appears that the only rule is "you can be as nasty as you like, so long as you do it in a clandestine and creepy way ..."


lucky they are a minority, and I still salute the squads of saner, kinder and loving ppl that I have been lucky enough to meet on-line over the years .. :)

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Lots of stuff

Medical News
I've really been a bit more grotty than usual this weekend, and even when I get burst of energy it doesn't last long ... but hopefully I'm picking up a bit today.

Went to see Dr Ohbrai re HRT stuff last night, so progress is being made there .. hurrah.

Dr Adab has agreed that the shrinking violet veins in my hand are not going to stand up to another 7 blasts of chemo .. it has been getting harder and harder for them to insert the cannula for the drip, or even to get a blood sample for my tests .. so I'm going to have a hickman line put into my chest instead.

However, because I'm on avastin I may have problems healing up after even minor surgery like this, SO I have to have a break in the avastin treatment before I can have the line put in. I'll have my 6th chemo dose next week as usual, through the hand, then I've been scheduled for the line-op on June 14th. I'll then resume fortnightly chemo.

The idea of a month off is good cos I think it will give me chance to get a bit stonger, but then I think: does it give the cancer crumbs a chance too?

In that gap I'll also have scans ... so that's a bit nerve-wracking in its own way.

.. hey ho .. on the bright side I can plan to spend time with B and family over 1/2 term now. ~~ under previous timescale I'd have been in hospital that week.

The Lounge
I've been really missing my favourite cafe and sadly I have to report that it really is gone for good. We met Sarah last night and she told us the whole sorry story. DAMN Stoke City Council.. they were in dispute about their rates, and instead of negotiationg sensibly the Council have forced the girls out of business. This is a family site, so language is now being severely reined in.
I'm furious.

In contrast to all the tawdry fast food businesses that flourish in our unhealthy city The Lounge was a wonderful haven of good, fresh healthy food, run by two enterprising young women standing on their own two feet with a business that was growing on a daily basis. All trashed. Sarah and Anna haven't just gone on the dole, but they could have done, how rubbish is this?


Weekend Plans
In the hope that I will be a bit more chipper by Friday I've booked us another weekend away. Only an hour away from here! In the Peak District, near Matlock .. looks a bit of an odd-ball place .. not sure whether to bill itself as a hotel or a training centre!

BUT it's near to a National Trust place I want to see, it's not a chain hotel, it's got lovely grounds, a cute looking village very close and they give some of the profits to a charity.. got a be worth a look:

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Friday, May 04, 2007

home 5

phew -- another one down -- to be honest I'm not so clever this time .. didn't even get up and dressed yesteday .. very tired and literally sick for the first time during the treatment ..
I've got an infection or two, so that might account for the extra tiredness..

Hopefully I'll pick up again when the anti-biotics kick in ..

Meanwhile B's mum is here and tidying our back garden, ripping out all the overgrown ivy .. there are millions of snails being made homeless !

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

A big thank you from B

Thank you for all the lovely cards, messages and pressies. I have been completely spoilt and looking forward to some more pampering!! I'll be in touch to thank you properly at the weekend. Tired now off to bed.

Love to you all

B xxxxxxxxxxxx