NOW my reversal op has been put on hold, cos my surgeon can no longer do it at the end of this month, and then she is on hols for most of February.
Thinking about that I decided to say I'd prefer to wait till after Easter, cos that is so early in March, then we can have a holiday somewhere nice, NOT blighted by the possibility of post-op trauma ... and then maybe take the time to see what my next scan shows in April, maybe?
It is so hard to know what to do.
To some extent, fear of the cancer coming back makes me want to delay the surgery anyway, cos if these are a few precious months of not being in cancer treatment then maybe it is better to not be post-op in them ... and just not bother with the reversal ... in favour of "quality of life" time with B and gently doing a few hours of work.
Some ppl say "You have to do what you want" and I dont even know what I want.
Then other ppl say "Oh just get on with it and get back to normal" and then I think, what is normal when you have a high risk of return cancer in the back of your mind every day ?
8 comments:
Hi! I think you are right! Plus there is more time for the immune system to get stronger and you can do all those active things!
Maybe there is a reason in all this timing?!
Lots of love!
Waiting and giving yourself breathing space seems good to me.... I think it is brave and strong to rethink your plans and good to focus on the things that really matter to you.
Thanks for the cd!
Lx
My instinct would be to put it off for a while but I am a coward!
Hope you're well.
Love Matt xxxxxx
if you don't know what it is that you want surely it's okay to resist the urge to try and make something happen. With time passing maybe you will have shaped up your own thoughts about what to do given the information you have now- or some more information will have made itself apparant and the decision will be informed by that. I know it goes against your grain - but not making a radical decision is an option. Julie
Julie is right, give yourself time to experience the pleasure of some ordinary daily life. And get your mind and body to where they need to be. You are OK for now aren't you, so why rush?
Hi Sue. It must be very difficult to decide what to do for the best. Your surgeon will guide you along no doubt anyway.
I can understand how you have conflicting feelings but whatever you decide will be the right thing for you personally.
I have no idea what I would do in your shoes. Not a clue!
I just believe that the right answers come by relaxation, calmness & suddenly, the idea just comes to you.
I do believe you will know what to do eventually, but I can understand the conflict.
Glad you are tasting work again. It seems to be what you want to do.
Lots of love. Cousin Pauline. xx
Just remember , nothing can take away the value of your life to date and the positive impact you have on others. Cx
Take time to enjoy yourself and get yourself as well as you can and enjoy the no hospital time!
Enjoy your outings and weekends away and decide what you want to do when you feel ready to decide.
It has been one hell of a time for you and B, you deserve some peace and happiness and good fortune.
Big hugs to you both, Ruby XX
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