lost it

confirmation, if such were needed, that I HAVE totally "lost it" .. I've taken photos of my shoes and posted them on the interweb ...

there's no excuse

look away if insanity distresses you

xxxxx

sorry

I've still not got the photos you're craving

but you'll be pleased to know I 'm OK .... but perhaps more tired/breathless than previous chemo treatments have left me ..

Saw Kate briefly this morning, and went to town, also briefly, this afternoon. I've also been busy sorting out financial matters, and good news is my 1/2 pay from work has longer to run than I thought it did!

I'm going to do my best to look after B at the moment - she had had to cope with so much, and she needs something back from me, now I've had the clear scan .... things are different in my head ..

ppl who can cope with lesbian love poetry can see the poem I just recently wrote for her over in the Take Heart blog ....

Unexpected side effects of cancer

Do you think that buying coloured shoes could be an under-reported a side-effect of cancer?

I'm not really the Imelda Marcos type, but since this diagnosis I've bought two pairs of high heeled satin shoes with sequins, IN THE SAME STYLE, one pair black and one pair pale pink.

Then I found the purple moccasins, often admired by women of good taste (e.g. Kasia). These were quickly followed by the much maligned mulitcoloured deck shoes (which I now can't wear because my lovely sister described the colour on the top as prosthetic-pink !!!! )

Then only yesterday I invested in a pair of minnie-mouse high heels in dusty-pink suede!!!

What is going on?

If some ppl weren't so cheeky I'd post a photo - but I'm hiding their light in a discrete bushel (unlesss the weight of public opinion demands an expose, of course!)

home 7

Here we are again, home from the 7th Chemo ...

Don't feel too bad, tho obviously ~I am feeling the usual "sick and tired" .. the sensitivity in my hands is less than it has been and my arm isn't too sore from it all.

Thanks to everyone for all the kind messages you sent on the last post .. it's been a hard couple or three weeks for us, B especially has found it hard to keep going, and I got a bit weepy myself this week .. but hey ho .. things move on ...

it's the weekend!

Mum and dad were up this week, but have set off home now, after gathering me and my big belongings from the hospital this morning. It was very wet!

Bleeuuggghhhh

So the story goes:

and the infection got worse
and my temperature went up
and I dozed
and the path lab identified the bug
and the doctor said we cannot do the chemo
and he made me stay in hospital
and gave me antiobiotics from a drip
and they couldn't use the hickman line cos it had moved
and the other doctor had to take out the hickman line
and my temperature rose
and the RMO looked stressed
and I was stressed
and Brigid was stressed
and I cancelled most visitors
and I slept
and the first docotor said you've got to stay in
and my temeperature rose
and the RMO looked more stressed
and sweated some more
and chest x-rays were taken
and swabs were taken
and samples of fluids were analysed

and then the antibiotics kicked in

and now I am home again.

It has been a hard and scarey week.
Brigid has struggled with it all.

AND now he wants me back for chemo on Tuesday ........
and to re-insert a hickman line the week after
and more chemo as usual the week after that

so June turns out to be quite a month in hospital for me ..... for info if you are going to visit at any time!
PLANNING
Tues 12 - Fri 15th June ~ CHEMO NOT DONE DUE TO INFECTION

Tues 19th - Fri 22nd June ~ BACK IN FOR 7th LOT OF CHEMO

25th - 30th June~ mainly at home, PROBABLY GETTING NEW HICKMAN LINE on Thursday 28th.

Tues 3rd July - Fri 6 July ~ BACK IN FOR 8th CHEMO

9th - 14th July mainly home and open to offers.

conwy update made with

morning.

Conwy was grand - the weather an absolute treat and the room as luxurious as before, though actually a different suite, this time with the bedroom having an estuary view as well as the lounge bit ...

I was poorly on Sunday. I had absolutely no energy, kept dozing off on the way home and didn't want to eat much (which of course is a very rare symptom for me, and thus quite alarming!) My temperature had crept up to 38 as well, which is quite a jump on my normal temperature. We decided to pop into the hospital on the way past cos I am petrified of the danger of septicemia. The doctor there gave me a once over and phoned my consultant to check what to do with me.

The decision was: to take a blood culture, give me antibiotics and tell me to come back if my symptoms worsened. They've not called me back, so I assume the blood culture didn't show anything too alarming.

I was so tired when we got in that I went to bed and never even logged onto the computer, which is almost as shocking as me not eating much ..

Anyway, I passed a feverish night but feel a lot more alert this morning and temp has gone back to normal zone, so fingeres crossed!

photos from Lyme

thought I'd better get these up b4 we go away AGAIN!

Good News

Phew

Dr Adab just phoned to say that "it's all good" ~ the scans are clear!!!!!!!

Which is not only good news but an excellent service - I only had the thing done 5 hours ago and he said he knew we'd be worried and that's why he phoned straight away ~ bless him!

I can hardly take it in, to be honest, I've been so scared this week..... well now we can really enjoy the week-end!

YAY

sore

I've had the central / hickman line put in today ....

more info on same here: http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=2586

it hurts a bit and there is a sloosh of wet blood in the area -- but I think it's ok ..

I'm back in there for a blood sample tomorrow so it aint right, they'll know ...

and if it IS right .. tralala la ... everyone says chemo is easier by this sort of line :)

chit chat

so me and b are having tea tonight and she enquires about who's been in touch with me today.

B : Have you heard from your sister?
Me: Yup
B : She OK?
Me: Yeah, think so, she's only been on the blog, not on the phone
B : Was she cheeky?
Me: Strangely ... no she wasn't!
B : Are you sure it was her?

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

back to work ...

.... for some of you.. but not me!

We had a great break in Lyme, I tended to spend extra hours each morning in bed, while B bobbed about running up cliff-fronts and along the Cobb. I dunno if it it real exhaustion or just habit and laziness (as a certain caring sharing sister erm, "hinted" !)

We met up with the aforementioned sister and her men-folk most days and had some good meals and chats together, which was lovely. I also saw mum and dad a couple of times and detoured off for lunch with my internet mate in Bristol on the way home.

Today has been a bit busy. Our stupid freezer had been open while we were away and filled up with ice and frost so it needed de-frosting. I had to put on my silk gloves and rubber gloves to protect myself from the cold in order to do it today. It proper wore me out.

Then I had a lovely visit from MORE internet pals, Glossy and her missis, in town on tour with the Opera, *dahling* .. oh it sounds glam doesn't it? I hope to see Glo again as she is here all week.

Hospital Dates and other stuff
NOTE NOW CHANGED - red colour shows latest update 17th June
As far as I know I've got this schedule:

Weds 6th June - minor op to insert the Hickman line for future admin of chemo
Thurs 7th June - CAT scan (trying not to think about this - scared that there might be more tumours growing in me)

Friday - buzzing off for another weekend in Conwy! YAY - NICE - and this DID happen!

Tues 12 - Fri 15th June ~ back INSIDE chemo, 7/12 NOT DONE DUE TO INFECTION

week 18th - 22nd June ~ Home Alone, open to offers - BACK IN FOR 7th LOT OF CHEMO

Tues 26th - Fri 30th ~ back INSIDE chemo, 8/12 PROBABLY GETTING NEW HICKMAN LINE

week 2nd -6 July ~ Home Alone and still open to offers BACK IN FOR 8th CHEMO

And so on ....... alternate weeks for the next two months .... blood counts permitting!

Tho there will be less of the home alone in August cos B will be on holidays too !