Here I am again. Post-chemo-hazy and hoping it really is the last time.
It seems impossible to celebrate the end of the course and it was a tearful drive home last night. We so much want this to be the end of the treatment and I gave out boxes of chocolates around the hospital on the basis that I've had my last treatment there.. but part of me cant stop fearing the news that I have more treatment to come ..
I get into a strange sort of double think ...
"...yeah but no but yeah but no..." perhaps sums it up!
Anyrate, today has brought a beautiful blue sky and I will try to wake up enough to go out and take the air somewhere today. It must be the first totally clear sky I've seen in about six months .
4 comments:
hi dear hazy Suze... i'm glad there are clear skies above you and hope there are clear skies inside you too when you go for the scan. i can totally understand the trepidations about what it will show... it is funny that this machine has the power to show us our insides and change our lives utterly one way or another, and yet we cant feel our insides and know on our own! normally we like to speak our own inner person ourselves and have it all in our power... so tis strange that it is not.
i hope you can rest and get out and enjoy that sky today... i send you and B much love from Montreal (where we have that clear sky too... and going up to 25oC today... strange global warming weather but supposed to get normal again tomorrow....)
Hi Sue and Brigid, sorry we didnt get to see you B.
Its been a nice day here people dicarding their coats, going all summery.
My little hedgehog was under the bush with not much covering he had gone into hibernation while I was at Stoke.I was so worried about him ,I rang a vet and asked what to do,they said dont move him or wake him up cover him with loads of leaves and stuff so Ive made him a nest, hope he will be O K.I may lightly fix something solid over the front edge to stop hom geting wet.Bye for now lots of love L M xxxx
Hi Sue, I really do hope that was the last chem., 4 you. I can relate to those contrasting emotions & life does test us to the limit sometimes.
Greetings to Brigid also. I usually forgert to mention her, then when I come off p.c. I think,'Ooops. I've done it again'.
I like the post mess., above about the hedgehog & the thought gone into it's survival. I often think that is what life is really about. You know, just doing little things to make life better for others. Even a tiny creature can give us a purpose.
When I came back from holiday & we fetched the cats from cattery, it was so obvious they were relieved to come home. It was a joy to see their happiness tucking into food where they wanted to be.
Well Sue, as you know, we are all hoping & praying for you.
So have a good break & try to feel positive.
Lots of love. Cousin Pauline. xx
Hi Suze. Hoping that this is the last for you and the blue sky augers good things. Best wishes to you both. Christine
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