1/2 term

Have had a mixed week - pain and discomfort seemed to get worse for a bit, but that seems to have passed now. It's been lovely to have B around, and she has looked after me really well. We've done a fair bit of walking round Trentham and we're making progress on getting my car repaired so we can trade it in and get me my "new" car next week.

B's sister was here at the weekend and we are seeing my brother and family on Saturday. I'm hoping to do some walking with them.

Still no word on the future treatment options. I've been trying to sort out flu jabs and swine flu jabs to get some protection for the future.

one week out of hospital

It's been a busy week, cos in between lazing around and watching TV I've had lots of visitors.

It was helpful to have mum and dad around during the week so B could continue to go to work and know that someone was taking care of me. We also saw my Aunty Barbara and Uncle Cliff during the week plus my bother came up last weekend and B's sister was here yesterday.

Various pals have also popped in to brighten my days, and that has been lovely.

I still feel as though a horse kicked my belly when I walk around much, but I've tried to get out and have been to Trentham three times - it really is a tonic, with the wide open spaces and ancient trees.

It's 1/2 term this week, so the lady wife will be fussing me and making sure I keep moving as well.

No news yet about when I might see Dr Adab to get news of the treatment plan.

Memories

Getting up Mont Ventoux.

This was a challenge I set myself at some point last winter and I kept to a pretty strict diet and trained for hillclimbing so that I would be able to do this iconic climb this year.

Since my last operation (June 2008) I lost five stone! I climbed hills in the Peak District through the winter 2008-9, and did soem good distances in Scotland at Easter and Ireland in June with my eye on doing serious climbs this summer. I did this Mont Ventoux climb in August 2009.

I went 10 miles up it on the day the Tour went past and a few days later did the whole thing, that's about a mile up in the air (1912 metres above sea level) It is 16.5 miles of cycling uphill, with NO downs and no flat ridges. It took me a little over 2 hours 30 minutes. You cannot imagine how great that felt. There are lots of other cyclists there, but very few of them are women, or my age, or my size … even though I lost a lot of weight I’m still big for a cyclist … so it was a good feeling to be strong enough to do it, and pay a tribute to the good job my doctors did on getting me better!

It's a sad to realise that even as I did this the cancer was already growing again. I do so hope they can patch me up again.

My next goal is to do some climbs in the Pyrenees next summer. I've seen the Tour De France schedule for next year and the final week is in the Pyrenees with a Time Trial at Bordeaux. This is near where our good friends Lili and Bouclette live, so I am hoping to spend the first week of our holidays with them, see the Tour and do some Pyreneean climbs myself .... great plan eh!

This is the professional photo, if you click on it you get the large version.

One week post op

I feel very well, considering. The pain is not a fraction of what I had to deal with after my first abdominal surgery, and I feel pretty good. Of course, last time was a much bigger op, deeper into my body and needing a stoma creation as well. Plus I'd been battered by radiation and chemo in the preceding weeks, so altogether lots of reasons for it to be worse then and better now.

Psychologically I am trying not to think what three visible secondaries might mean for me, long term. Spots on both sides of my lungs can only be bad news. I will see Dr Adab as soon as he's had histology results from my bowel tumour. I guess within a couple of week, and then he will be telling me his treatment plan.

I got the impression that chemo was the most likely route, as the spots are small and might go with chemo ..... but there was a passing mention of the option to deal with them surgically ... which is tricky with both sides being involved ... but then I am super-fit atm ...

Whatever, they certainly won't entertain surgery if they get a bad answer to the big unanswered question: are these three just the tip of a metastasizing mountain of mini-tumours seeded all about my abdomen? I'll probably have a PET scan to tell them that.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/QAs/701.aspx



..

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back home

I'm back, abit sore and tired ... obviously.

Dad, this is the BnB you coudl look at

http://www.kenwoodguesthousestoke.co.uk/

plan ahead

I am wishing I was cycling in the sun with you Malc, but will settle for the memories of the summer in france, which was so great

... and the next year's tour schedule came out this week .. they are doing a time trial near our pals in Bordeaux, so that's next year's summer mapped out!

windy wilde!

Good morning!

Suze is up and walking about trying to shift the discomfort in her belly.

Not as bad as last time though and she'll soon be on here herself reading all your comments and posting again. I look forward to hearing all about them later.

I'm off to work now

Enjoy your day

B xxxxx

LATEST NEWS

Hi, Just spoken to Susan she is feeling fine , has seen three Drs' all pleased with the progress
she has had some breakfast and the staff are just geting her out of bed.
Dad.

GOOD NEWS

Hello every one,
Susans op; took 2hrs' she is back on the ward ,and is ok.

Susan spoke to me and said she is feeling 'chipper' and is waiting to have a race with Brigid on her bike .
She has not had a colostomy bag fitted and is very pleased about that.

I spoke to Brigid and she is HAPPY BUNNY.

The doctor had no trouble removing the tumor it whas on the outside of the intestine, near the join with the small intestine ...  only a part of that needed removing .

Susan will be on chemo again for the two small sites on her lungs, and we all hope that treatment
will be as satisfactory as last time .
Good bye to you all for now, and many many thanks for all your kindnesses and best wishes.
DAD XXXX

monday

wow - the sun is shinging! amazing..

I'm all packed up and ready to go, lots of bags, as usual ..
At least I've not had time to get scared about the surgery this time, with only a few days notice.

I also realised that I've been in the recovery room at the hospital four times before, so not only is FIVE an auspicious number, but I can mentally project myself there already and just bypass the bit where I am unconscious and imagine coming around and being cared for by the nurses.

My dad will update this later on this evening, whenever he gets some news from Brigid.
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I started to re-read this blog last night, but there sure is a lot of it! and that's without reading all the comments.

I love comments, so if you are starting to read again, please don't be shy about adding a few words, just to let me know you're there.

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lots of love

suze xxxxx

Trial run.

Susan , I am having a go to see if it will work, just a one liner first ,here goes!!.

summer to celebrate

Three years ago, when I first got a cancer diagnosis I was told my tumour was inoperable. But they found a way to shrink the bugger and treated it. Thanks to my medical team we have just had the most marvellous 12 months together, cancer free and very strong.



But I've always known this could happen again. The odds were there from the start. 66% -- as most of you know, these were not good odds. Part of the reason I've worked so hard on my health is so I could be physically strong in the event of secondaries coming back.

Now they are back I am trying to hold onto the wonder of the summer, and here is a photo to remind you all of where we got to: me and my lovely wife on the top of mont ventoux

.. and where I am aiming to be again, next summer:

cobwebs swept off

here we go again, folks

surgery on Monday ....

nearly october

oooh - I can't seem to quite retire this thing!

I just flicked over the calander last week and saw that my annual scan / bloods Dr Adab do-dah is scheduled for 1st and 6th October .. I sort of had it in my head it would be around 1/2 term, and it seems very SOON for it to be here again already ..

It made me a bit mopey for a while ... 66% chance of secondaries in the first two year .. gaaaah ... his voice still echoes in my head with that scuzzy statistic .. and yes yes, I know it's only a statistic . .. I remember the lampost analogy as well .. but this is the two year check

gaaaaah ..

Anyway .. can you believe it, two years since the chemo finished? And they have been a very good two years. I've loved going back to work part-time and I am mentally strong and physically as fit as I've ever been.

To have faith in the future we've started looking ahead to our Christmas holiday -- thinking we'll do something like last year, jet off to some sunshine and more cycling .. yay!

And if my general state of health has any relation to my innards, I am fine, really fine .. thoroughly enjoying life, really enjoying being fit and geting great pleasure from zipping about on my new bike.

:)

one more thing to celebrate

Yup - my innards are clear, no sign of any new polyps growing so my surgeon has announced that she doesn't need to see me now for FIVE YEARS! I take this to be very good news.

So on that up-beat note, I extend a massive thanks to everyone who has read the blog, and especially to the regular contributors to the comments section ... It has been great fun keeping in touch via the blog. It's proved a very easy way of telling lots of people who wanted to know what we were up to.

It's also allowed family and friends to keep in touch easily, and the support we've had over the past two years has been amazing. I've also made some great new friends and rekindled relationships with older ones as a direct result of this journey.

We have both really appreciated the support, but we are now both more than happy to sink back into normality ... not withstanding that I will always be Toby's celebrity relative, and Joe's very own Cruella DeVille, can you believe a boy like Joe could call me that?

I know that cancer never really goes away, or at least the fear of it never does, and it could still come back and bite me hard .. but while it is in remission and looking clear set for a while, it is no longer important to me, and I want to stop thinking about it

I think I might keep the fitness and spiritual ones ticking over, in a 1/2 baked way, simply cos the fitness one serves as a reminder to me of recipes and stuff that I want to remember .. and being spiritual is always important. But for the most part, what is in this blog is stuff I really want to forget now. Forget and leave behind in its own time and space.

It was weird going back to theatre today .. it certainly did remind me that the last time I did that journey for a colonoscopy I got told the news about my tumour. I felt sick, and apprehensive all over again, but this time there was no need. We don't need reminding of that fear and apprehension anymore.

Bye bye bloggers and thanks a million.

xxxxx
xxxxx
xxxxx
xxxxx
xxxxx

One more test

Today I am doing that de-tox thing .. no food and extra laxatives ..

I am trying to persuade myself it is a good boost to the weight loss diet after 1/2 term of over-eating! We had a lovely time in Lyme ... the weather was cold, of course, but some nice bright mornings and not too much rain so we got in some walks along the seaside. Great. Our flat had a lovely view over The Cobb too, which we appreciated very much.

I am hoping tomorrow's tests are just routine, and then back to work and more normal life... I think this really is the time to retire this blog ... assuming all is well tomorrow I am ready to retire it now. Normal life doesn't need a regular update.

clear

clear scan, one year from the end of treatment.
clear blood results, one year from the end of treatment

clearly good news

comedy moments - football

Go see this on Youtube, it got a mention in today's paper ... the best free kick, ever, from Coventry in 1970.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Wjq2xT-tx38&feature=related

live your life

"live your life" (regulars will recognise that as my oncologist's favourite mantra ...)

I'll be seeing him later this month, and I think you also know that I'm dreading the scan next week, basically fearing the loss of the life I've only just got back,

SO I am really tring to hold onto the notion that we (ALL) only live one second at a time .. and we have to make every effort to just enjoy what we are doing, whatever it is ..

Following this train of thought, I took my eternity ring into the jewellers for re-sizing yesterday. She was really reluctant to do it cos I am still losing weight, and it will need to be done again ..

Well the ring is literally cutting my finger, being so loose and BIG and heavy as it swings about, it actually isn't fun to wear it ... so, I either can't wear it or I can get it fixed .. why put the ring in a box? Why not do what I can to enjoy it now? especially since B bought if for me after my diagnosis ...

The jeweller really didn't understand but I reckon this is a typical cancer patient's way of thinking, isn't it? ... she was thinking it was a waste of money, no doubt, and I could get it done when I've reached my target weight .. haha

Pleased with myself

I am -- see fitness blog for the reason why!