here I am back in the hospital. Not feeling too bad cos the doc decided not to administer the oxilyplatin this time (due to the numbness in fingers and feet) this means no need to take piriton (so not so knocked out) and less side-effects:
less sleepy generally, less nausea and LESS TIME in here, cos I dont have to have the 9 hours of fluids to replace minerals when I don't have the "poxy-oxy" as it's affectionately known!
We had a chat about getting stressed about the next scans etc and he was very sweet. He says we have to put worst-case-scenario thoughts out of our heads, but it's only human to get a bit upset sometimes, he says even ppl who've been clear for years get stressed when they have to comeback for scans and checks ...
I was also upset talking to John about Annette, the neighbout who died of cancer last week. She was 55 and her breast cancer came back -all through her body. I didn't really need to know quite so much about what dying friom cancer was like for her .. that was, after all, why I didn't go so see her in the hospice .. but I enjoyed talking to him in other respects and I plan to go to her funeral on Friday .. a good cry will be fine .. I do quite a bit of crying about "other ppl" - it's easier to stop than if you start crying for your own situation and immediate family's distress...
B has struggled with the return to work - it's always such a tiring time of year cranking back up to work-pace, and added to that the fact that this is now a whole year of pretty relentless treatment and illness it has taken its toll on both of us this last couple of weeks. However, she seemed a lot more calm yesterday, so hopefully she is hitting her stride again!
9 comments:
Hi Sue,
You don't actually know me: I'm an EnglishLangLister. I followed your blog early doors for a bit, but haven't seen it for months as my old laptop with my RSS feeds bust on me.
Anyhow, a chain of thoughts brought you to mind again today and I managed to track the blog down and have vicariously caught up on all the ups and downs.
Just thought I'd remind you that your ripples spread wider than the close family, friends and regular commenters on this blog.
All the best,
Ant.
Hi Sue L M here or should I say widow twanky, was busy doing the Ts. ironing this morning when Dad was on the phone to you.We fetched the boys from school again today Julies taken them home now.
Lots of love to both of you L M xxxxx
Hi Sue,
I know where you are coming from here re John cos I di what he did and I know that you need to talk these things through - but probably it was not you he should have talked to in such detail! there are some things and places it is best not to go to I think - give B my love too it is really hard too being the 'supporter' always trying to be positive when you are knackered yourself!!
Take care both much love Ian.
thanks ant - it is interesting - I am amazed when I bump into ppl who tell me they read this, even tho they don't post any comments.
Thanks Ian, of course you know this only too well ((hugs)) B really needs to talk to more ppl like you ... but basically she works so hard, and she just wants to spend her time off with me, and thus doesn't really "use" the friends who would be able to help her with it
xxxxx
Hi Sue just rang to see if you were home.
My little hedghogs just come round to eat some apple i cut up for the birds. Its sunny on and off and very windy today.
Hope you are O K and will soon be home, lots of love to Brigid what would we do without her,it doesnt bear thinking about. take care lots of love L M xxx
Susan
Sorry to hear that things have been soo hard. I often read your blog and think of you. Perhaps you get the good scottish vibes...
Everyone Ive known has hit a wall during chemo- it passes.
I hope the link below strikes a helpful chord. There are various interviews and acccounts by Melissa of the effect of chemo/cancer on her and her wifey- this is a brief snippet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5ymva5DHsw
I think the interview is a few years old- post chemo, after the amazing grammy appearance, she won an oscar for her lyrics for the song in 'An Inconvenient Truth' and her wife had twins last year.....and has come out the other side.....and seems very happy
Jane
hi, I hope you have perked up by now! xx I think B should definitely use the friends who could help her! when is the next stoke game? My stoke scarf looks very neglected just hanging there with no purpose!:-)
Lots of love to you both! xx
I tell you what... if B dares to turn into a Stoke fan I shall disown her!
These aren't the wise words of a sage or a saint or a 49 year old mentor but something that really keeps me going and that's just, 'It's gonna be alright.' And, you know, no matter what... it will be. I have faith in that for you and B, whatever happens.
Love you both more than you know.
xx
haha at the tension between kate and kasia -- have to admit B does go to see Stoke from time to time, and she DOES have ths shirt .. tho I wouldn't call her a full on fan -- I'll tell her you mentioned it kasia - anycase probably will see you tomorrow ..
and yes, she does hae friends who she can lean on -- if she can find the time!
love you too, kate, and kasia!
xxxxx
Post a Comment