We had a marvellous weekend away; the farm B+B was very luxurious, and James very amusing ...
Both of us were impressed by beauty of the Lakes, which neither of us have visited for years and years ... so it all seemed new and wonderful, despite the rain .. which, in any case, we're used to, being such fans of Scotland ...
Pre-Op
I'm a bordering on the sad and maudlin now, with one week to go till the operation and being a bit (no, actually --- quite a lot) scared of all that stuff ..... hey ho .... it's been brought up-close and personal cos I went for my pre-op meeting at the hospital on Friday. This makes it all too real .....
The nurse says to tell you that if you visit
(liaise with B first cos I will need to be left alone for some of the time )
but if you DO visit while I'm in the Nuffield she says be prepared for a quite scarey scene .. lots of pipes, drains and drips and various machines burring away ... the best of which being the vibrating pads on my legs to stop me getting DVT! She says: "It looks scarey but it is normal and routine" .. OK!
It's worth remembering that the surgeon said I'll be pretty immobilised and weedy for about six weeks, so there will be plenty of visiting opportunites when I am back at home ... esp if B has gone back to work .. she is going to be with me at first ...
xx
8 comments:
hi, no wonder you are scared! I'd be shi**ing myself! but you have done so well so far and it is a very good omen! So do not let these scary thoughts get you!!!!!
I will be in Poland but will be thinking of you!!!
And B is welcome to stay in either red or green bedroom if she wants!
Lots of love,Kxx
Ps. I would like to be put on the visiting list on my return! :-)
absolutely, of course you're freaking out, that's totally natural.
but keep up with the positive thinking - i'll add mine too and mine are STRONG btw!
lots of love to you petal, x
Hi Sue, It's cousin Poe here. I do understand your fear & if I was in your shoes I would be shi**ing a brick. However, I believe what the mystics & spiritual people believe about the 'power' of prayer. Many people will pray for you & 'faith' & 'prayer' will 'move mountains' so hang on in there & be strong. Anyway, if you do get negative vibes, just let all your supporters do the praying. Just take a few slow breaths & we will see you afterwards. Good luck. Love. Pauline xx
Don't worry Susan, you're gonna fly through this operation just like you've flown through the chemo and radiotherapy. It may be quite a daunting experience but it's going to be really worth it in the end to have you healthy again and back at college, where I can assure you, you're still GREATLY missed!
All the best for the op, keep smiling
Charlie x
Dear Susan just a line to keep in touch,as you know your mum tried,so,she has a cold as you know, so it may put of when we come up to visit. We are still full of confidence for your opperation,and will make every effort to visit ,we are of to the Dr's now to find a supper cure.
love Dad xxx
Dear sweet Sue how can you contain such fear and sadness with any normal well used strategies - they seem so inadequate in response to the weeks ahead. Cancer has such an awe inspiring capacity to spread fear within, but you are equally (and then some) inspiring -and you are a Toft. We all love you.
Susan our thoughts are with you every day, we know you can overcome this cancer,and we are hoping and praying that every thing will be O K . lots of love to both of you L M xxxxx.
PS I have a virus thats infectious so the Drs told me not to come over till its all clear.xxxxxx
hi folks -- sorry to hear you're infectious mum, let's hope you get better quicker this year than last year!
@ Julie -- ho hum -- I don't think I am THAT scared about cancer itself .. I sort of think that will either be dealt withby the treatments or later on I'll have to deal with what it will be like if it can't be dealt with .. dja know?
Just at the moment it's the pain of the wounds, etc .. the bed-rest and loss of independence that are stressing me, to say nothing of dealing with the the stoma side of things and not being able to eat properly that gives me the heebie jeebies!
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